A Costco muffin is sparking so much drama. A teenage girl from Texas found herself in tears after failing a school-mandated drug test, and no, it wasn’t because she had been experimenting with anything illegal. Her crime? An obsession with almond poppy seed muffins that ended up backfiring in the most shocking way.
The story, which blew up on TikTok, comes from Lauren Aikenn’s account. Lauren lives in Texas and posted a video of her younger sister having a complete breakdown after learning she had tested positive for morphine.
While that sounds like the beginning of a serious teen drama, the actual explanation was straight out of a sitcom: her breakfast of choice. Turns out, eating Costco’s almond poppy seed muffins every single morning was enough to mess with her system and trigger a false positive.
Texas Teen Crashes Out After Receiving Positive Drug Test Due To Poppy Seed Muffins
In the clip, the Texas teen is visibly panicked, sobbing and flailing her arms as she tries to process the news. At one point, she mouths the words, “I don’t even smoke,” which makes the whole thing even more gut-wrenching. Her father eventually comes into the shot, hugging her while simultaneously giving Lauren the universal “stop filming” look that only dads can pull off.
If you’ve ever heard urban legends about poppy seeds and drug tests, well, this is living proof that they’re not just myths. Consuming large amounts of poppy seeds, even from something as innocent as a muffin, can result in trace amounts of morphine or codeine showing up in your system. Normally, it’s not an issue unless you’ve eaten a lot of them in a short amount of time. But this Texas teen clearly had a dedicated Costco muffin habit that pushed things over the edge.
And honestly, can you blame her? Those muffins are massive, delicious, and cost-effective. The real problem is that her school administrators probably weren’t ready to believe “I just ate too many muffins” as a legit excuse. But in this case, the bizarre science checks out.
TikTok Laughed And Sympathized With The Scared Teenager
“You’re just sitting there recording her mental breakdown ….AS A BIG SIS SHOULD,” one person commented on the video. “This happened to me but it was bagel. And I was pregnant and in labor. And they called CPS. I’m traumatized,” another said. “Poor girl is gonna be traumatized from eating poppy seed muffins ever again,” a third comment read. “I’ve never laughed this hard at something,” a fourth social media user stated.
The moment has since gone viral, not only because of the sister’s meltdown but also because it’s such a perfect mix of absurdity and bad luck. Of all the reasons to fail a drug test in Texas, baked goods have to be the most ironic.
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