One familiar face from Hulu’s The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is getting painfully honest about a cosmetic decision she now wishes she could undo. Jessi Ngatikaura, a hairstylist and social media personality tied to Utah’s “MomTok” community, recently opened up in a candid TikTok video that quickly caught attention online.
Known for sharing pieces of her life with over a million followers, the Utah mother never exactly been private about cosmetic work. But this time, the tone was very different. Instead of celebrating a glow-up, she was processing regret.
In the emotional clip, the 33-year-old reflected on watching earlier footage of herself from the previous season of the Hulu reality series, which is set to release a new season soon. Looking back at those episodes gave her a perspective she didn’t have before. “I looked really good,” she said in the video. “I wish I could have seen that.”
Utah Reality Star Gets Candid About Her Plastic Surgery
It’s the kind of realization that probably hits harder when your job involves being constantly on camera. In Utah’s influencer-heavy social media scene, appearance often becomes part of the brand. For Ngatikaura, that pressure seems to have played a major role in the decisions she made about her face.
According to her explanation, she initially planned to undergo just one procedure a lower blepharoplasty, a surgery meant to adjust fat beneath the eyes to create a smoother look. But after consulting with her surgeon, that single plan expanded. Suddenly the procedure list grew.
Along with the lower eyelid surgery, she ended up adding an upper blepharoplasty and fat transfers to her face and lips. And months later, she says the outcome hasn’t been what she hoped for. In fact, she didn’t sugarcoat her reaction at all. “I look hideous,” Ngatikaura admitted bluntly in the video, echoing comments she had seen from critics online.
The results, she said, left her dealing with lingering swelling and facial unevenness. Her lips became what she described as “lumpy,” and one side of her face appeared to dip slightly. Not exactly the polished outcome anyone would hope for after going under the knife.
Jessi Ngatikaura Says Surgery Ruined Her Life
Trying to correct the issue only added another layer to the experience. Ngatikaura revealed she recently attempted to address some of the changes using Kybella, an injectable treatment designed to dissolve fat in targeted areas. But reversing fat transfers in the face isn’t always simple, something she now warns others about.
What’s made the whole situation especially difficult is how closely her career is tied to her appearance. Between filming, press obligations, and the everyday demands of being an online personality, the reaction to her changing look has been hard to ignore.
“I’ve really been struggling,” she told viewers. “I genuinely feel like this last surgery ruined my life.” That’s a heavy statement, but it reflects the reality of living under constant public scrutiny. Ngatikaura has already shared in the past that insecurity played a big role in her long history with cosmetic procedures.
Over the years she has been open about multiple surgeries and treatments, from breast augmentation to smaller aesthetic fixes. However, this time, the emotional tone suggested something had shifted. Looking back, she believes insecurity pushed her further than she should have gone. “I went way too far because of those insecurities,” she admitted, describing the experience as the “biggest learning lesson” she’s ever had.
Fans Offer Support
For someone who built part of her identity around beauty and lifestyle content, that realization carries weight. Cosmetic enhancements are common in influencer culture, but rarely do people speak this openly about regretting them.
Ngatikaura isn’t necessarily swearing off all treatments forever, but she did make one boundary clear moving forward. When it comes to her face, she says she’s officially done experimenting. Although, she joked that Botox might still make the cut.
“I’m so proud of you for consistently being so transparent and authentic regardless of how you felt about the results,” one person commented. “Girl you are beautiful,” said another. “I think you look great,” a third comment read. “Ahhh this breaks my heart 🙁 so sorry this surgeon did this to you, you look amazing then and now,” a fourth person wrote.
Still, after everything she’s been through, the Utah reality star seems ready to approach things differently. And if there’s a takeaway from her story, it’s that even in a place like Utah, where cameras, filters, and beauty standards often dominate the conversation, sometimes the hardest lesson is realizing you were already enough before the procedures began.
Kenna Raye 
Nina Franklin 
