One first-time Virginia mom has found herself at the center of a very modern parenting debate, one that blends newborn health concerns, generational expectations, and TikTok humor. Haeli Christiansen wasn’t trying to start a culture war when she posted a short video on January 1, but the internet had other plans.
The now-viral clip shows Christiansen’s mom holding her newborn baby. As Haeli leans down to kiss her son on the cheek, her mother instinctively follows suit. That’s when Haeli reaches over and gently slaps her mom on the head to stop her. The video is clearly lighthearted, overlaid with text that reads, “Gently reminding my mom to not kiss the newborn,” and a caption that declares, “the word of the day is ‘boundaries.’” Still, viewers across Virginia and beyond had plenty to say.
Some commenters were confused or upset by the moment, especially those imagining the scenario from a grandparent’s perspective. “I would be so sad as a grandma,” one person wrote. Another added, “I have two grandkids and was never told to not kiss them on their head.” What many didn’t realize, Christiansen says, is that the boundary wasn’t personal, it was medical.
Virginia Mom Sparks Parenting Debate After Polarizing TikTok
Speaking to PEOPLE, Christiansen explained that she and her husband decided early on that extended family and friends wouldn’t kiss their newborn during the first few months. The reason? Timing. “My husband and I made the decision to not have extended family or friends kiss our newborn for the first few months after birth because he was born in the middle of ‘sick season’ and newborns don’t have an immune system,” she said. She added that even a mild illness for an adult could be dangerous for a baby.
The rule also comes from lived experience. Christiansen shared that when she was an infant, she was hospitalized twice after family members kissed her while unknowingly sick. “When I was a baby, I was hospitalized twice on two separate occasions from family kissing me without realizing they were sick,” she said. Ironically, that history made her mom one of the strongest supporters of the no-kissing rule. “Before he was born, she emphasized to me that I shouldn’t let people kiss him from her experience with me.”
What surprised Christiansen most wasn’t her family’s reaction but the internet’s. “I was shocked with the debate the video sparked!” she said, noting that neither her family nor her in-laws pushed back on the boundary. Online, however, some critics went as far as accusing her of being a bad mom or denying her baby love and support.
The Video Was Obviously A Joke
Despite the noise, Christiansen insists everything is fine at home. Her mom’s bond with her grandson hasn’t suffered at all. “Their relationship is great!” she said, explaining that her mother is deeply involved and even considering moving closer to help out more.
And for anyone still clutching pearls over the “slap,” Christiansen wants to be clear: it was a joke. “Though there is a layer of truth… the video was obviously a joke,” she said. “I don’t slap my mom, and she has a great relationship with me and my son.”
However, everyone seemed to insert their opinions into the situation. “My mom told me that “was cruel and unusual punishment” to not let her kiss my babies,” one person commented. “Everyday this generation shows us how doomed we are,” another added.
Everyone Had An Opinion
“So not to be THAT person, but as someone who works in an ER with a pediatric unit I’ve seen some very sick babies since the holidays. They come in with flu a and rsv, that turns into pneumonia. It’s all very sad and preventable. Good job protecting your little one. Their immune systems are delicate,” a third person wrote.
This viral Virginia moment has become a reminder that parenting norms are shifting, humor doesn’t always translate online, and setting boundaries, especially when it comes to newborn health, can still be done with love, laughter, and a little playful smack that isn’t really a smack at all.
Nina Franklin 
Preston Thomas 
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